Lying to ourselves

I was conversing with Jack Molay yesterday about personal schemas. Over the course of our lives we build a framework regarding who we are and our place within the world. It is based on gathered information except that the model can and will contain flaws. 

The inputs come from our parents, early childhood and adolescent socialization, social myths (ie. misinformation) plus our formal education which are then passed through the sieve of our personality type. Once the basic foundation is built it can be very difficult to put into question when the model begins to work even if imperfectly. 

We have a storyline which includes personal truths irrespective of their veracity and are sticking to it particularly if we have received a sufficient level of acceptance through its adoption. 

However this schema can also be a trap which contains self limiting components. We have sold ourselves a narrative about ourselves and others which hasn't been sufficiently tested and is only added to over the years and left largely unexamined. 

We can't blame most people for doing this because schemas can become comfortable despite their flaws. For example aren't autistic but tell ourselves we are socially awkward and beyond hope until we are diagnosed as neuro divergent and suddenly potentially reverse our fortunes.

Our challenge is to examine everything we have been taught and dismantle the schema we have constructed with the intent to rebuild it and then reap the benefits. We refashion the psychology slowly but surely with the intent to bolster mental wellness, confidence, maturity and self respect.

It's not about lying to yourself but instead about finding a more honest and beneficial personal truth.