Did you sleep last night????

Many years ago I suffered from severe insomnia which I made worse by obsessing over sleeping. The more I worried that I wouldn't sleep well that night the less I would and so it became a vicious cycle. 

It wasn't until I came upon an internet thread for insomniacs that I realized where the core of the solution lay. The posters were also obsessing and asking each other what magic pill or formula was working for some lucky person who had solved the riddle. 

I proceeded to let go of the pressure to sleep and told myself that eventually the body would take care of itself if I allowed it to and worked on relaxing the psychology. 

After many years of internet exploration and research into gender variance I eventually concluded much the same thing in that there was often a degree of obsession that wasn't always healthy. Some of it was justified due to a person being locked out of a solution that lay just beyond their fingertips but much of it was also due to self-inflicted paralysis. 

Fear of even stepping outside took on mythic proportions and thoughts about what a next outing might look like was over analyzed. Even some transsexuals planning their medical transitions turned their angst into all-consuming urgency that might have benefitted from a more steady calm. 

The approach with my dysphoria finally took a more organic and patient approach which involved letting go of much fear which then greatly reduced obsession. I came out to increasingly more people and realized that I had done myself damage for years by over thinking what didn't deserve so much drama. I arrived at the conclusion that suppression was as bad as a bulldozer approach that trampled over an already built life. Of course every person has a different life situation and varying level (or wholesale absence) of dysphoria as well as motivations. 

Today I am very much for early transitions (in the 20's if possible) or at least living authentically when one is sure because it avoids falling into many traps down the road. We have a much cleaner slate to begin with as well as the benefit of full transparency. 

I certainly couldn't have done that in the 1980's when I was in complete denial and the climate would have been corrosive, but certainly today the way is much more open and clear for people of any age to move forward with patience, maturity, self-respect and a little bravery all of which will be eventually rewarded.

Turnings

I watched a video recently about the Strauss-Howe generational theory which describes an 80 to 100 year cycle for the repeating of American and western history in general. Assuming it is correct we are nearing the end of a cycle which began in 1945 at the end of World War II and signaled the start of a boom. 

During this cycle there are supposedly 4 distinct "turnings" called the high, the awakening, the unraveling and finally the crisis. 1945 to 1963 was the first turning which culminated in the Kennedy assassination. 1963 to 1980 was the awakening during which women's liberation movement, Stonewall and the hippie movement happened. 1980 to 2008 was the unraveling which was kicked off by the Reagan election. The start of the crisis turning was the global economic crisis of 2008. 

If one goes back about 100 years from end of WWII you get the American Civil War and about 80 before that you arrive at the Revolutionary War. It may not be perfect science but it does align well with the idea of history recycling itself which seems to definitely be a thing. 

We see autocratic rule cede to more benign forms as well as times of economic prosperity giving way to austerity. 

If this theory holds true we are headed for a punctuation point (hopefully not a world war) by about 2030 to be followed by a renaissance where we re-enter a new period of human prosperity and peace.

Who's afraid of gender

Judith Butler perturbs the political right. She is correct to say that things are not going back into the bottle with imposed heteronormative norms for everyone. That ship has sailed despite the current backlash. 

She has become personna non-grata in the halls of the Vatican as well as within other institutions that align birth sex and gender to the point where they are one and the same thing. Not only is birth sex replete with anomalies including at the chromosomal level but expression, when left unrestricted, naturally falls along a spectrum. 

Most people in the general public don't follow or understand gender theory and I can arrest to this first hand from my many discussions over the years. Interestingly this includes some gender variant people themselves who have tried to define themselves in a way that makes sense to them which is perhaps just as well.

But you don't need to espouse an academic viewpoint to be happy in one's skin. We can increasingly try to ignore societal convention (which has laden sex and gender norms with political weight) in a world that increasingly sees and accepts more malleable approaches towards achieving authenticity.

Butler is clearly undeterred in her views even as they grate against the dogmas of very reductionist groups....

Before it's too late

Vivian Jenna Wilson is Elon Musk's estranged transgender daughter who he claims died from the dreaded "Woke mind virus". But it turns out that she is very much alive and well, posting as a retort to her father with an accompanying photo "I look pretty good for a dead bitch". She was interviewed recently by Hasanabi who let his audience see how charming and naturally sweet the 20 year old is. She serves as stark contrast to her charisma-challenged and ketamine-addicted parent.

Musk for his part has been busy meddling in and dismantling the US government under false pretenses encouraged by the tutorship of a clown president. Most recently he has been in Wisconsin hoping to impact a state election for a judge posting. He has a 1 million dollar cash prize to sweeten the incentive for one or two lucky people who voted for the "right" candidate. This should send chills down the spines of ordinary Americans who still haven't flooded the streets in anywhere near the required number. 

Comedian turned warrior Cliff Cash has been going hoarse screaming for help in that regard as he organizes protests in several cities to criticize a timid and cowed mainstream media. 

That fascism is installing itself slowly is beyond question but then many Americans aren't used to such a concept on their home soil. Never having faced a threat of this magnitude before, they must think it will eventually blow only to come to realization by the time it's too late to do anything about it.

Every phase

In one's early 60's your primary enemy can become cynicism. You've seen how society works and how its hypocrisy weaves its way into everything. You aren't necessarily aiming for new challenges or goals but want to establish a peaceful calm which rests on a foundation of experience and knowledge amassed over the decades. 

There is much to complain about the world and its lack of moral compass, critical thinking or empathy. So I work on combating the jaded outlook by looking for the gold nuggets which exist in many places. 

I was talking to my 25 year old son about his mental development and how working on his autism will pay off in the long run in building mental fortitude one needs in this life. There are no magic formulas or cures and so we develop coping strategies as arsenal to deal for what is thrown at us. I am proud how already he is honing his powers of observation which he will need for his journey.

My experience has taken away the element of surprise and I can see people coming a mile away which is both good and bad. It proves to me how every phase of life has its particular challenges.

Sport and trans

The whole transgender people in sport moral panic is a red herring created by idiots for other idiots. 

Not only is the transgender population already tiny but those who play sport are an even smaller wedge. There are states where there are bans and no transgender athletes to speak of residing within them. 

The idiocy runneth over. 

Not to mention that within biological sex there are great variances in strength and ability such that a tennis player like Serena Williams represents an example of a pinnacle which even many men couldn't defeat. This applies to many sports especially where brute strength isn't as much of an issue. Even then there are guidelines to check hormone levels to qualify for sport just like there are weight classes in boxing. 

Make no mistake that this issue is to feed red meat to distract the population as the treasury is looted. Picking on the smallest and easiest target is the way of the scoundrel. 

What I am saying here is that there are far bigger fish to fry and even some liberals are falling for right wing talking points which are primarily founded on hatred for a group of people they just as soon see disappear altogether. 

Regretably there is not yet a known cure for stupidity.

Dangerous

We are living in very dangerous times but we've been here before most recently and notably in the 1930's. 

Parts of the world are actively embracing authoritarian ideas including my neighbor the United States where half the country is more than despondent about the speed of the degradation. It started with a trickle which then turned into a stream and now becoming a river. 

Recently a young PhD university student who supported Palestine was picked up in the street by ICE and her family does not know where she is. A Hispanic family in Maine is also now without a father since he was taken away without explanation or due process. A neighbor of theirs made a tragic plea online for funds to help them and for fellow Americans to stand up and speak out against the Trump regime. 

Things are degrading fast. 

The mechanics of how this happens seems to be predictable. There is a huge gap between rich and poor where the ruling class feels nervous about losing its grip on power in the ensuing unrest. The social upheaval created forces them to react to restrict the population by introducing draconian methods. 

The current right wing backlash is against "woke ideology", diversity, intellectuals, immigration, the politics of sex and gender as well as reproductive rights. The truth needs to be bent in order to subjugate and suppress free thinking. 

The Trump regime wants to first abolish the government infrastructure on which the country subsisted for most of its existence. After that they can centralize power under the executive branch and ostensibly operate as a dictatorship. 

There are segments of the population which are highly energized but not yet with enough numbers and with state regime media FOX News serving as main propaganda mouthpiece, they reach the largest audience in the country which is older and generally not politically savvy or well educated. It is not much different than in North Korea state sponsored media where the dear leader is praised in adulation. Never mind that he is a drooling imbecile.

This Jewish college professor sounds the alarm for the attack on academia and higher education in general and he is not mincing words. Nor should he...

Caroline

Caro is a wonderful soul who has helped me more than she knows. There are people like this in the world who wear their heart on their sleeve and exude warmth and loveliness. Over the last few years we have developed a mutually beneficial friendship where we provide each other support. I came out to her as a transgender person last year and she has been nothing but over the moon supportive. 

At 46 years of age she has been working at the public market for years now but needs a change which I have been encouraging because life is short. Spreading wings is what we both needed and as I entered further into retirement giving each other little pep talks has been nothing short of therapeutic. 

I look for people like her in the world. They may not have book smarts but are endowed with an emotional intelligence that has far more value. Her open heart is what showed me that you can live with more risk and reap the benefits. Living in the shadows was no longer an option for me and she was instrumental in helping me move further along in my personal journey. 

Life isn't easy for anyone but we only make it harder by not trusting ourselves and our abilities. We can look back and understand what we could have or should have done but that only comes after living a while and comprehending the mechanics of how things work. 

We are a constant work in progress.

How AGP failed

For a while it sounded plausible. Patients were showing up at the CAMH in Toronto to see Ray Blanchard. Many were married and distressed from years of repression and wanted a resolution to fix their situation. For this was the 1980's and there weren't many options for gender variant people. 

During this era is when Blanchard developed his two type taxonomy of male to female transsexualism which was based on the core idea of sexual dysfunction both for his AGP and HSTS patients only for differing motivations 

But then over time something magical happened and we began to open up society to understanding dysphoria. Suddenly all patients were increasingly presenting to clinics much sooner and the social dynamic changed. Transitions were undertaken earlier in life and distress and trauma dealt with before they could become festering secrets. 

The only thing Blanchard did was rename transvestic fetishism and turn it into the main driver for transitions among (starting out as) heterosexual natal males. It wasn't exactly magic and disregarded gender dysphoria as a cause. Instead the dysphoria was supposedly caused by this sexually fueled mental illness that he proposed for which there was no proof.

Today we have an interesting situation where people show up on podcasts saying they suffer from AGP and want to rid themselves of it. They don't feel female but see it more as a fetish which it could very well be the case. Conversely we have young people transitioning and resolving or at least mitigating dysphoria and becoming happier. Many in this latter group would also have been accused of being AGP by Blanchard. 

Something smells rotten in Denmark because when your hypothesis is good it shouldn't break down like this over time. 

That this topic is exceedingly complex and layered wasn't of much interest to Ray Blanchard who also entirely disregarded gender dysphoria in natal females. It has resulted in his work being completely discredited even if gender criticals still rely on it as ammunition for their disdain.

It should be noted that the DSM talks about the presence of distress as a signifier of dysfunction but if today young transgender people are looking after their situation and improving life quality then what mental illness are we referring to exactly. 

The existence of fetishes is beyond question which is why I always go back to core motivation. But trying to use one catch-all easy fix to explain the complexity of this topic away turned out to be folly and, dare I say, wishful thinking.

Inconsistent

George Orwell understood humanity and the power of misinformation to control many people. Born at the turn of the 20th century in what was then British colonial India to parents who aspired to social status, he began to absorb from an early age how people conducted themselves in bizarre ways once they held increasing levels of power.

After seeing the front lines in the Spanish Civil War and witnessing the way it was reported on, he realized the power of propaganda and its ability to rewrite history. He also concluded that the elites were blinded by their thirst for power and found that ordinary people tended to possess more wisdom and emotional intelligence. 

This is what later prompted him to write "Animal Farm" and his even more famous "1984". The term Orwellian has become folklore and is regularly used to describe events and movements which are dystopic in nature. 

That people can be manipulated is not remotely in question, but what fascinates me most is how supposedly educated people can fall prey to caustic ideas. Yes, we understand that a profession does not give you insight into all topics but in theory exposure to critical thinking should help us to develop analytical skills to apply to other spheres. 

I have argued with ex-colleagues about political, philosophical and religious issues and have often come away dumbfounded. There is a conclusion reached in their mind beforehand which then impacts their reasoning. They look for evidence that suits their case rather than examine the topic from all angles. 

We all have blinders to some extent and, if we seek truth, we should want to work on them. 

I watched a video recently where a psychiatrist analyzed the allegiance to Trumpism by evangelical Christians where he proposed that if the person's childhood had been very emphatically black and white, they would be more likely to favor his authoritarian style. According to him, this would explain how they could disregard Trump"s odious and criminal nature by focusing more on his method of autocratic governance. Subtle greys don't work for these people and, despite his obvious flaunting of Christ's message of charity and forgiveness, they fall for his messaging. 

I think he is right and it is why we all must be careful to apply critical thinking to our belief system. To do otherwise, exposes us to extremist views where contradictions exist side by side and force us into convoluted logic.

Sorry

 

Strangers

I speak to strangers every day and I love it because it is so rewarding. Not only did it used to be therapy for a shy person but also for a transgender person looking for mental freedom. It isn't the least bit forced but natural.

People accept you for you are but you need to first understand that internally. You cannot pretend and you must be real for pretense is rooted out like a bad odor. People have radar and can detect inauthenticity.

If you doubt who you are, they will too.

Who you truly are must form part of your internal reflection and once decided upon things will begin to flow and you will relax. 

The world becomes less scary as a result even as you understand it's pitfalls by now only too well.

Happy

Once again the top countries in terms of happiness are all social democracies which is hardly a surprise. The US slips yet again this time to 24th place and unsurprisingly Canada drops to 18th place from 15th in 2024. 

Finland is number one followed by Denmark, Iceland, Sweden, Netherlands, Costa Rica, Norway, Israel, Luxembourg and Mexico which round out the top 10. The fact that Mexico has moved up so much is undoubtedly thanks to Claudia Sheinbaum's policies which focus on bettering the social contract with the people and improving their quality of life. 

It's no secret that a society is only as healthy as how well the working class is doing and clearly things have been declining for the world's wealthiest nations as inequality within them increases and it gets harder for the average person to make ends meet. Technology has also had a hand in the most industrialized nations towards feeding social isolation which has corroded human contact and community spirit. 

These problems need repairing and form part of the battle against right wing authoritarian movements which are capitalizing on social discontent to seed division in the world and make dangerous structural changes. 

We've been here before and will again.

Obsessive

When anything remains unresolved it risks becoming obsessive. Our minds go there constantly because whatever is perturbing can be like a splinter which needs tending to. What we need is to arrive at a balance point where it doesn't occupy so much real estate in the brain. 

Dysphoria is like that and once we find a magic formula for it our mind thanks us because we can live with less intrusive thoughts. We are no longer masking, suppressing, denying, distracting or obsessing but simply living in harmony with the self.

When you get there you will feel it.

Limitless

According to Le Monde, a French scientist who recently landed in the US and headed to a conference, was denied entry based on a search of his phone which revealed messages critical of Trump's cutting of scientific research. Thus the refusal of entry was justified as "potential terrorism". 

I already knew that human idiocy had no bounds and it is being confirmed to me in spades in my 60's. 

As Trump flaunts the judgements of the courts he is trying to see how close he can get to constitutional crisis without any consequence. The judge who told the administration that the deporting without due process of Venezuelan migrants was illegal is about to test how far into dictatorship they are willing to go before people flood into the streets. The judge has asked Pam Bondi to answer some very detailed questions regarding the timing of the flight and how the process played out before he finds that the administration is in contempt of court. 

Here is where the rubber hits the road. 

Also, April 2nd is when Americans already strapped for expenses, will begin paying tariffs on imported goods that the imbecile Trump has told them are paid by foreign countries. Adding insult to injury appears to be the aim along with thinking everyone in the country is an idiot. The arrogance and stupidity runneth over.

Outcomes

After all of these decades of studying people and treating them, we still don't fully understand what causes gender dysphoria. However, that there are variants to every process involving biology makes perfect sense because none are devoid of them.

Thus we have developed methods to treat it as best we can in ways that soothe the discomfort of the person. It isn't cured as much as mitigated to the point where in the best of cases it disappears into a low hum in the background. 

I used to be much more interested in the mechanics of causation but now focus more on outcome. If something works and the person is happier and calmer then the method applied was the correct one. 

Unfortunately for transgender people they ran head first into the politics of gender which included very fervent views on birth sex being the only determinant for how people should be viewed and treated in society. But if we were to remove ignorance and transphobia from the picture, we would see that by in large what we have been doing to treat patients works well. Yes  not everyone will make the right call, but then there are far worse dissatisfaction statistical outcomes for plastic surgery decisions among the population. 

If we then remove people who express gender variance solely for expression from our worry list, what remain are people who are being identified and treated much sooner in life than ever before in our history. That this is creating a backlash is hardly surprising and besides some earnest concern for how early is too early, there are those who use the situation to discriminate against all transgender people and remove all access to medical help. 

My own approach combined researching the topic with understanding where my stopping point needed to be which took decades but then I am not today's typical test case. Most transgender youth come our far younger than I did as well as attain self-acceptance much sooner which means their work to reverse impediments should be less cumbersome provided they live within a family structure with empathy and a willingness to help them. 

Life isn't perfect but if we shoot for outcomes where distress is minimized and mental health is improved then the method used was the right one.

A blown fuse

Toxic political movements which rise to power are fundamentally rooted in personal grievance. Their philosophies are not about addressing the basic needs of humanity but to address some primordial cultural fear which then fans the flames of hatred. Where we are now is a period of backlash against societal progress where the least secure among us are staging a coup against their perceived enemies. 

The right wing has blown a fuse in their brain circuitry and are trying to take society back to when they felt more comfortable which includes putting minorities in their place and taking away any advancements they have made. Denigrating DEI has become code for a white man rage which wants to put the furniture back where they liked it. 

History has seen these movements before of course its just that it is our era's turn to live such a phase. The changes were so fast and furious over the last few decades that the most insecure and in power became nervous about losing their grip on systems which worked very well for them. 

The pandemic probably accentuated our underlying problems related to globalism and with the power dynamics shifting increasingly away from US global domination, many saw a chance within the country to strike. Every nation has within it sinister forces which crave authoritarian rule within which they can carry out their plans for remaking society to their liking. 

When times are economically stable there is less unrest but when we reach peaks of imbalance particularly between the rich and poor, it is then when the turmoil begins. Cultural bogeymen need to be found to distract the serfs from the fact that they are getting poorer. 

Thus the dynamic has shifted from one of right versus left to one more of top versus bottom which historically has led us to wars and revolts when a critical boiling point has been reached. 

We are doomed to never learn.

Bullhorn

Cliff Cash stands on top of a pickup truck cab yelling his lungs out into a bullhorn. He is leading a protest outside the offices of the Heritage foundation who are responsible for project 2025 and its manifesto for the dismantling of US democracy. He loses his voice as he drops truth bombs on the crowd around him and passerbys in the streets of Washington. 

He is a North Carolina good old boy liberal which at first blush sounds like an oxymoron. Well-informed and with a heart of gold, he first caught my eye through his standup comedy which pokes fun at MAGA and their penchant for voting against their own interests. 

I have been made keenly aware over my life of how much people are ill-informed and watching those from West Virginia being interviewed after recent devastating flooding brought it home in spades. They expressed confidence that their president cared for them even as he guts funding for FEMA and delivers minimal financial aid to only a few counties. It is very hard to break through their willful ignorance which has only been boosted through a steady diet of echo chamber right wing propaganda. 

The US and many parts of the world are on the verge of collapse. As markets tank and people fail to make ends meet, the population is being sold strawman narratives to pacify them. It is increasingly not working however as the fervent booing at recent GOP town halls attests. People are rightfully angry. 

Soon more people will take to the streets in protest as Hungary is now seeing against the corrupt oligarchy that Orban has created there. A contributor to project 2025's manifesto, he may find himself victim to the increasing rage of people disgusted by what authoritarian rule does to a nation. 

Four years like the first two months have been in the US will render the country fully unrecognizable. Whatever shreds of democracy still exist will be wiped away by a president who thinks that the executive branch need not listen to the other branches. Congress and the senate having already supplicated, once the courts go there will be nothing left to protect the people from tyranny.

It's time for more bullhorns.

Faith

Religion stopped working for me quite a while back. It wasn't the idea that there is something greater than ourselves but rather it was the human inner workings which made it increasingly unpalatable. As I became older it was more difficult to reconcile the black and white infrastructure imposed by each religion against the reality that we know absolutely nothing. We are walking around in the dark without so much as a flashlight for guidance. 

Thus marrying my critical thinking with a structure that discouraged it wasn't going to work; especially when the human ignorance contained within each institution threatened to derail their essential message of love of self, of neighbor and reverence for our creation. The more I reflected on the human elements which encouraged divisiveness among the world population, the less attractive the idea of following any one religion became. 

Atheism wasn't right either because it extolled certainty without possessing all of the information. We are ants imagining concepts we do not fully comprehend and our hubris threatens to derail us. In that case we are better off agnostic. 

Unfortunately many people need black and white to sleep at night which is why the worst instincts of some religions are allowed to continue. Greys are not appealing because not being sure enough sows doubt which could lead to abandoning altogether. For these people the Thomas Aguinas marriage of faith with reason becomes wholly unnecessary while for me ignoring it is anathema. 

What works now is the resolute knowledge that I do not possess the ability in this body to fully comprehend. Instead I defer to a complexity that will always elude me while relying on a brain that still permits glimpses of what could lie beyond. The essential message of do not judge lest ye be judged resonates within me and I leave it at that. I will try to make my slice of the world a little better and wait to find out what may come next. 

Much of the world operates on Einstein's three pillars of fear, stupidity and greed but not everyone falls fully for these traps and, as we work towards self-improvement, we remove impediments to enlightenment one day at a time. 

We forgive others but also ourselves and quite often this is more than enough.

I smiled

She was probably 6'5" including her bootie heels and stood next to me on the metro platform on this Saturday morning with her girlfriend. Not yet 30, confident and ebullient in her own skin, my insides bubbled with happiness for her. Of course I said nothing but I wanted to. I wanted to tell her how glad I was that she had avoided so much programming and how each of us represented very distinctly different eras.

She stepped into the metro car and couldn't give a hoot who stared but people didn't for they detected and saw pure confidence devoid of any cockiness or arrogance. 

I just smiled and watched her get off at the next station hand in hand with her partner.

Fall

Back in my twenties I didn't understand how Hitler had done it but today I very much do. The insidious and slow progress into submission of a population was achieved one small step at a time. Each successive move dulled the senses further and acclimatized them to what they already saw as expected. The goal posts are moved and it is just one more occurrence among many they have already witnessed. 

Trumpism has been working much the same way with much the same effect of becoming increasingly brazen and dangerous in its efforts to flaunt laws as well as the American constitution itself. 

It turns out that people can be manipulated into silence very effectively. Fear of being singled out by a mob of core support can require courage particularly when some of more unbalanced will feel bold enough to come to your house and do you harm. 

Trump's speech at the justice department talking about revenge against perceived enemies and the news media who he feels should be praising instead of critiquing him should have sent chills down the spines of every American. I suspect many felt that and many others just saw more of the same bluster which they have learned to dismiss as hyperbole. His already tenuous grip on mental health has been visibly loosening over the last decade with his speech more slurred and the cadence even more monotone. The word imbecile is never far from one's lips.

Many in his base were likely not even watching him do something which no other president before him had dared to do. Who could have possibly known that electing a malignant narcissistic with a cult following for a second term would have dire consequences.

The department of Justice is supposed to be an independent body free of political alliance but Trump has turned it into just another arm of his administration ready to do his bidding and dispense revenge against political enemies. Some have received letters stating that their financial statements are being looked into all in an attempt to scare them into silence. Hitler had his brown shirts in the streets doing his bidding and it seems America isn't far from that last step now. 

Yesterday the senate voted for a resolution that would allow a Republican budget to go forward slashing services for those most vulnerable in society. $880 billion would be removed from government expenditures largely accomplished through cutting Medicare, medicaid, veteran services and possibly food stamps. They do this to give tax cuts to people with more money than they know what to do with. Clearly this is a deep moral failing.

What is interesting is to witness how far and how quickly a nation can lose its grip on a fragile democracy which was already on life support. The only resource left likely being the people themselves pouring into the streets en masse from the sheer disgust of what is happening to their country.

I have learned very well over my life how people don't pay attention and can be duped. I have also learned about the lack of moral courage to do the right thing and its prevalence in society. When you combine them they make a powerful weapon against justice and illustrate how we clearly appear perennially doomed to repeat history.

The boiled frog

We have all heard the analogy. The frog is inserted into temperate water and the temperature ever so slowly raised until it reaches a boiling point upon which the frog is cooked. 

Life can be like that for many of us as we begin with more carefree innocence and eventually end up with fatigue after getting off the hamster wheel. We were like the dog chasing its tail and realized later we shouldn't have been. Having learned lessons about the futility of following society down the wrong avenues, we are able to see the entire playing field with a perspective we couldn't possess in our youth. 

What I see today in the world is much irrationality, malice, greed and stupidity and yet I find many islands of goodness and rejoice in my ability to quickly recognize their value. I don't need to exert as much wasted energy getting to the grain of truth hidden underneath any subject. If we have reflected all our lives the work pays off and the X-ray vision begins to work spectacularly well. 

George Bernard Shaw said that youth is wasted on the young but I disagree only in that the battle must be waged and the scars acquired in order to grow into wisdom. Without the struggle we can be doomed to mediocrity and fail in our appreciation of how most often it is the simplest things in life which bring us the most joy. 

Hopefully we learn all those lessons before we reach that critical boiling point.

Stupid

Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote about stupidity. A Polish-born Lutheran pastor who started life the turn of the 20th century and died in a German concentration camp, he recognized and argued that "stupidity is a more dangerous enemy of the good than malice". After all, evil could be exposed and fought against but stupidity was far more insidious and left us defenseless. It could not be as easily dismantled. 

Bonhoeffer stated that stupidity was not merely intellectual deficiency, but a moral one. Arguing with the stupid got one nowhere since their certainty hadn't been passed through any kind of sieve of critical thinking. 

Today we live in an age where some wear their stupidity like a badge. They don't need research or expertise but simply enough certainty steeped in a fervent belief which substitutes for intellectual rigor. 

Social media has helped unite and feed the imbecile and they find solace in groups of like minded people who don't believe in vaccines, a spherical earth or that the moon was ever landed on. They regularly fall for conspiracy and feast on it with delight. 

I used to be more stumped by the prevalence of stupidity and the lack of interest in making sure one has done their homework. However today I understand it through the recognition that there are many people who are petrified of greys and would rather bathe in black and white ideas without examining them too deeply. For conviction is far more important to them.

It is what allows them to sleep comfortably at night.

Psychology

There is nothing more important than psychology. 

We need to foster it and allow it to slowly morph over our lifetime. It changes over phases as it gains power through lived experience. If it isn't worked on, it withers and we risk becoming hapless automatons and victims to cultural norms and ideas which may ultimately make little sense. 

Without introspection we will fail to discover who we are which must happen outside of echo chambers which can influence our thinking. This does not mean being isolated but instead finding strength in independent and critical thinking. 

One of the great disappointments of my life has been to witness how many people don't think. They are instead reactive and reflexive and count on the power of the herd to guide them which sometimes happens to be off a cliff. We should be instead be asking why something is valid and why we should believe it. Look no further than Trumpism as one of the latest illustrations of why I avoid groupthink. 

Over my life I have been forced to question fundamentals which I was told were sacrosanct but turned out not to be. This is because the human animal is first emotional before it is rational and is more apt to fall into acceptance through herd mentality. In that light, cults will never run out of willing customers. 

If we want to determine how we should live in the world that investigation must almost happen in a vacuum which ignores mythology built around any subject. We must ask ourselves key questions and carefully observe our own behaviour always seeking calm and balance as ultimate objectives while optimizing self respect. 

Am I returning to writing every day? Not even close, but only when the mood strikes me and, yes, the break did me wonders;)