There I got it out!

It took me a long time to understand why the "crossdresser" subculture increasingly irritated the shit out of me over the years. It felt somehow creepy, secretive and petrified. 

The big challenge for some of walking in the mall made me want to scream "for f*ck's sake just do it already it's not 1985" 

I wasn't mad at them but more mad for them that so much hand wringing had to happen for something as bloody boring and tame as that. A big production number was made over outings that no one else cares about. 

Is the world full of prejudiced idiots? Yes but we don't let them win.

I understand the fear completely in my bones because as an almost 64 year old, older people grew up with gender policing engraved into their brains such that any contravention could potentially get you beat up. For some it could mean the end of a marriage which ultimately happened to me even if this wasn't the true reason for it. 

Seeing people make videos strolling around at night or in motel rooms also looked creepy and weird and I wanted nothing to do with that. I also didn't like clubs or events and I met a few people over the years who plain weirded me out. I found out one was a dominatrix on the side which made me say sayonara. 

All this helped me discover I was more on the transsexual side of things.

In the end what I truly want is for people to feel free to be themselves. Transition or don't transition that's your business but move out of the shadows and flesh out who you are in the bloody daylight. Stop overthinking everything. 

Young people are running around everyday wearing what they like and no one cares because their expression and body language challenges you make a face at them. They don't give a shit what you think of them and it shows. 

It's what I love about them and yes they had it easier than us. 

However, the world of gender variance is extremely broad and includes all kinds of characters and motivations which is why I really don't like to put everyone into the same soup bowl. I go on a case by case basis.

There I got it out!