The cycles of questioning

The cycle of feeling comfort and then questioning never stops but it becomes quieter over time. Since human beings are always in flux, we go through periods of being sure followed by reflecting on why we might be wrong. 

This has happened to me all along my process of self-acceptance which was less earth shattering moment than extended and iterative process which included many ups and downs. Even today I will still introduce moments of self-doubt in my approach to things as a way to keep me grounded in reality. My aim always to be calm, rational and balanced. 

Transgender people if need be can live part time provided there is harmonious care of the self and where they feel accepted by those around them. The reason I pushed a little further was that doing so made me happier and I had no one else to please except myself. The people closest to me just wanted me to have a sense of well being. 

Having a mature attitude about what I was experiencing helped me to elevate my gender expression far beyond the level of a caricature which I desperately did not want. In other words I wasn't a man imitating an exaggerated version of a woman over limited outings but rather an individual accepting that their essence demanded something beyond the dictates expected of my birth sex. This necessitated living openly in the world with no reservations about where I could go or what I could do and in the process becoming myself; namely a fully fleshed out transgender person.