Operating out of fear versus preference

I ended up having a problem with leading a compartmentalized life when I realized that the primary reason for its existence was fear-based psychology instead of out of preference. 

It was fear of rejection and fear of ridicule which drove the way I lived although I will grant that there were structural issues regarding coming out later in life as I was well known in my industry. Thus as I neared the end of my career, it became more of an event to do so than if I was near the start. However had I been younger I simply would have transitioned at work with the green light from HR which I had received some years before. 

The point is that we should examine what is driving our psychology and if is mostly fear-based then I am here to tell you that this is a mistake. 

People who think they are being altruistic to family, friends and partners by denying who they are feed into degrading their own self esteem; you are telling them that you are somehow less than. Even my ex-spouse has hinted many times indirectly that she shouldn't have initiated divorce in spite of the fact that other major differences existed between us. 

Also, to date I have lost only one friend and gained many more. 

If we are primarily living out of fear we might want to examine how realistic it is because I can tell you that, from where I sit today, 90% of mine was entirely unwarranted.