Criteria

As a transgender person here is the type of questioning I have gone through regarding extended family:

1) Do I want the best for them? Yes
2) Would we be friends if we were not related? For the most part no
3) Are we obliged by virtue of blood to develop a connection? No
4) Have they done enough to come my way in 16 years? No
5) Have I effectively communicated the struggle that transgender people go through? Yes
5) Do I miss them when I don't see them? Not really
6) Would their absence leave a gaping hole in my life? No

This type of exercise is useful because it helps develop our contingency plan when family detracts from uplifting your identity. If you feel a strong sense of obligation you ask yourself why which does not mean I wouldn't help them if they need it. 

My mother and my kids are a different story and they have come through.

There isn't malevolence involved with extended family only that being obtuse is not an admirable quality and the vapid conversations when we have been all together only reinforces a stance which was largely honed over the pandemic.

"The Outfit"

"The Outfit" plays out in only one location; in fact it could be a stage play. An English cutter of fine suits practices his trade in 1950's Chicago with consumate detail and tries desperately to mind his own business despite the indiscretions of his dangerous clientele. There are a myriad of wrinkles here which force his obvious cleverness to the forefront signaling he is more complex than we first surmise.

There is nothing telegraphed in advance here and I was immediately entrenched in the story and as details slowly reveal themselves, the feeling of foreboding increases in parallel. There is clearly a tip of the hat here to classic film noire even as the style does morph near the story's conclusion.

Highly recommended 

Vocal Fry

 

Madman

A beautiful tribute to one of my favorite albums including Paul Buckmaster's wonderful string arrangement...

"We don"t like happy endings"

My friend and ex-colleague Luc had a daughter born in 1998 who is now his son. Three months younger than my daughter, this young man is as happy and well-adjusted as he could be after having gone through a very careful process with the same hospital program I dealt with in 2007.

First step was coming out as a lesbian and second step was coming out as transgender man.

The gender criticals don't like these types of happy endings at all as they tend to derail an agenda.

Bully

10 year old Sammy Teusch took his own life by asphyxiation in early May. A victim of harassment and bullying, the family had tried to have the problem addressed with the school but nothing seemed to work. Pictures of Sammy show a sweet kid with a mouthful of crooked teeth and horn-rim glasses; a combination which has invited derision as long as I've been alive and undoubtedly well before.

I wept as I watched the video.

Something feels different now. We seem to have invited too much information to flow and provided easier access to intimidate in an era of social media pablum which seems to have dulled our brains.

At 10 I was a hopelessly shy and skinny kid with a secret. Unfortunately it takes time to grow into the self, learn how life works and develop the confidence to disregard the brain dead among us.

Sunday walker

Be who you are

Supporting fascism

Robert Reich explains how so many fall for fascism...

I just want to pee

You can understand how poor conservatives can get edgy. Years ago, transsexuals transitioned, changed their names and disappeared into the background while part-timers had clubs or carefully planned outings hoping to stay under the radar.

Now with increasingly open expression of gender variance by younger people they are in full panic mode. Thus there is a cocktail of religious dogma combined with the power dynamics inherent in gender such that women's spaces suddenly become an issue of both concern and fear mongering

Never mind that you cannot easily or perfectly police everyone. I mean yes, a burly man in a beard in a tutu is conspicuous enough but they are not typically the ones trying to use the women's bathroom. Instead it is most often a transgender person with varying degrees of blending ability trying to pee and get out. Thus, taller or more masculine appearing genetic women have been singled out by transphobes for being men but that is the price you pay for naturally-occurring stupidity. 

I recently saw a snipet of a video by a conservative barbie bemoaning single sex public bathrooms with stalls with doors that go to the floor. It seems nothing makes these people happy because it is not about that. It is about finding reasons for eradication.

Fear in some people is baked in through limited education and lower than average IQs so the only thing to be done is to shame their behaviour by having it be deemed aberrant by a majority which has already begun to happen.

Brandenburg no 6

The power and majesty of Bach...

The older I became..

The older I became the more authenticity began to gain in importance over being with a partner. I look back and realize that living in pieces wasn't working for me although I tried as hard as I could for many years.

A partner compliments who we are but does not suffocate it. So as I became more entrenched in who I am the choice became easier to the point where today I have openness to the universe but that is all.

I clearly see in my mind's eye what life partnership is meant to be and, while it's not about perfection, it's certainly not about denial of the self where as unique individuals our essence becomes lost.

Otherwise why be with someone at all.