The ticketmaster story

This story serves as model for other industries. Too much concentrated corporate power and greed at the top with little to no competition....

3 ladies for brunch

My mother, my upstairs neighbor and myself are going for brunch tomorrow morning. Yes my mother has come a long way for an 88 year old. 

She has very little filter left and can be irritating but we love her anyway.

Really??

Well said...

The dividing line

How can we tell where we are on the dividing line between expression and identity? For many it is not remotely easy particularly if you lie somewhere in the middle or towards the latter part of the spectrum. As one approaches transsexualism it becomes increasingly fraught with challenge. 

Harry Benjamin found his type III and IV patients particularly racked with struggle although at that time transition would have been extremely challenging even in the mid 1960's. Today people who he might have classified as type I or II are starting hormones, experimenting and some regretting. Such is the change in climate. 

I love the openness of today as I also am wary of the dangers of pushing the envelope too far. Older people are more constrained by virtue of life decisions made unless they were clearly androphilic to start (such as an April Ashley) and their dysphoria put them clearly into types V and VI.

Were he alive today Benjamin would have no doubt rethought his typologies or at least tweaked them with the same kindness and understanding he had from the outset. With no agenda other than to learn.

Pretzels

Looking properly after ourselves involves boundaries and lots of self-respect. No, not hubris but basic self-care. 

Older Transgender people in particular have a bad history with this subject because in addition to everyone else's penchant for self-flagelation they carry an additional burden by virtue of their understanding that they don't fit in. The impact on the psyche is unquestionanle. 

I knew from a young age this was something to be eliminated and it took me years of figure out how to incorporate it into my existence. Getting rid of the reflexes to criticize the self is part of the exercise of healing the psyche. 

This is why I am so glad for youth who can come out early in life and seek help. They can avoid the years of psychological twists and turns which forced many of us into difficult justifications and over compensations which bent us into pretzels.

Worst enemy

Most of the time we add to our own suffering. In fact we are experts at it. We are self-critical, impatient and want things to go our way which life will often defy with its unruly ways. 

Learning to accept what we cannot change and live in the present moment are key to living more peacefully and harmoniously. I would also add that removing the unnecessary burden of obligation would help us. Things that society puts importance on but add no real value can and should be ignored if it will help us feel more whole 

We want to heal the psyche of past hurts and frustrations so we can be more present to others and feel unburdened.

Canadian transphobia

Idiots are everywhere. Surprised it's especially in Alberta?

Undeterred

Trump apologists make me laugh. They claim that he has policy which consists largely of more tax cuts for the rich and tariffs on imported goods which will be shouldered by Americans already struggling to pay for food and housing. The belief that the source country pays for tariffs is the height of idiocy. 

Nevertheless, the MAGA faithful is undeterred.

Even if Trump is primarily a buffoon he worries me far less than the cabal around him which includes the two idiots Tucker Carlson and Elon Musk who did his best dork impression at the last rally.

In Canada we have our own buffoon in Pierre Pollievre who will likely become our next PM. Therefore, fingers crossed for Kamala to act as a buffer as two idiot leaders in North America is a bridge too far.

Nuances

One of the narratives I sometimes see written about is having respect for a spouse and avoiding them witnessing the gender variance of their partner. But if the latter forms part of your identity rather than a past time, then we are accepting that our identity is objectionable and must live with that reality to remain intact as a couple. 

Gender variance has a very wide berth of behaviour within it where some see it more as hobby whilst for others it forms an integral part of their core identity. Obviously those who are much more invested are the ones who will have the most trouble reconciling that they aren't exactly embraced. 

Years ago I had dinner with a person who identified as a "crossdresser" (in quotations because it conveys absolutely nothing) and his wife and when the evening was over she told me politely that she was happy with the way her husband was but would have had more issue with someone like me. This was during a period where I was far less along in my journey and yet the differences in our stories, experiences and viewpoints were clearly stark. 

We can have trouble with generic labels that are too expansive and don't adequately capture details of lived experience and its nuances. Because in the end it is those details which make all the difference and are far more consequential.

Today's youth are less likely to live a segmented and compartmentalized life because they won't need to hide in the first place and can live openly and honestly from the start regardless of their place on the spectrum.

God bless them

Gender variant youth look brave to people of my generation until one remembers they weren't drilled constantly with negative messaging from day one. I see them every day in various forms from the painted nails of a young man to young transgender women going about their business. The very early transitioners, like the ones I met some months ago, are beyond the capabilities of my radar. 

Their defiant expressions and their poise formed part of my decision to come out and I love where the world is going for them even as I know we are going through turbulence. 

God bless them.

Montréal en automne